"The Sexy Christian"

Job 20.20 NKJV 

“Because he knows no quietness in his heart, he will not save anything he desires.”

About twelve years ago my wife and I experienced what some would call an ‘oxymoron.’ We attended a “Sexy Christian Seminar.” Is there such a thing a sexy Christian? Apparently, there is. Married, born-again, Bible-believing Christians can have great sex and great sex can get even better. Together with about five hundred other attendees, we enjoyed three days and four hours of ‘R-rated’ Bible instruction at the feet of a super-dynamic Christian couple. Ted and Diane Roberts, who were nearing their fortieth wedding anniversary, inspired, challenged, and invited attendees to go deeper in their marriages. I literally wept and laughed my way through the lessons following which my better half and I put some of the material into immediate practice.

One of the seminar highlights was what the Robert’s called “Home Play,” combining the sexual term ‘foreplay’ and their expectation of ‘homework.’ (“Home Play” sounds better than “Fore Work.”) My wife and I were required to privately discuss answers to delicate relationship questions after each session. It was wonderful to learn more about what motivated my dear woman. I rediscovered the joy of listening and found out she really, really likes it when I do. Our personal discussions were so enlightening that I caught myself admiring my wife and wondering, “How did I ever find such a fantastic woman?” I loved my wife and was always quite certain I was the luckiest man alive!

The Sexy Christian Conference wasn’t all fun and games. I had to do a little bit of hard work. I re-discovered what I already knew… a man’s anger is a royal turn-off to his wife. Even mild anger robs inner peace and sends out vibes that your mate wants nothing to do with.

Occasionally, I have an issue with anger. I don’t rant and rave and rage. I’m not a rage-oholic. You won’t catch me cursing and yelling and stomping around the house. But certain things do irritate me. I murmur inappropriate words under my breath in a traffic jam. You might hear me sigh heavily or whine a little when things don’t go my way. I can be easily annoyed and almost never keep my opinions to myself. It’s quite possible for me to grumble at a change in plans and, if don’t get my morning coffee, well, you might want to steer clear. I can be just a little huffy. It doesn’t happen often, but once in a while even I think I act like a jerk. 

The worst part is, I seem to be getting worse as I age. Am I becoming a grumpy old man?  

I received a fresh insight from the Sexy Christian Seminar (which, by the way, was fully reinforced by my wife during Home Play). I learned a guy has a simple choice… he can act like a jerk or he can enjoy great sex but he probably can’t do both. Hmmm.

This morning I read my Bible and stumbled on this verse:

“Because he knows no quietness in his heart,
He will not save anything he desires.”
Job 20.20 NKJV

Clearly, high quality sexual intimacy with my wife was one of my fondest “desires.” Equally as obvious is the fact that even mild uncontrolled anger will rob a man of “quietness in his heart.” Allow me to paraphrase Job 20.20:

‘Because he is annoyed and irritable in his heart,
He will not enjoy the great sex with his wife.’

I found new motivation to correct this issue in my life. I am super thankful for…

• the creativity of the Holy Spirit in revealing this truth to me.
• the amazing patience of my wife during my slow learning curve.
• the willingness of Ted and Diane Roberts to share candidly and transparently.

Thank you Ted and Diane.

____________________

Dr. Ted Roberts is a renowned pastor, author, speaker, and founder of Pure Desire Ministries International. He is also a co-recipient of the Telly Award for excellence in video and film production. I strongly and wholeheartedly recommend every married couple attend a Sexy Christian Conference near you. Find out more at http://www.puredesire.org/sexy/.

This is a re-post. Today my wife is with Jesus, having suffered and died from Leukemia at the young age of fifty. I wish I would have appreciated her more and better followed my own advice in this post when she was in good health. I loved my wife so very, very much, and I always will.