"Choose Your Pathy"

Romans 12.15 NASU

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”

What ‘pathy’ am I on?

• A-pathy ~ I could not care less. I feel nothing toward you.


• Sym-pathy ~ I understand you are experiencing pain or joy. I express my understanding and acknowledge your feelings, but remain emotionally distant.


• Em-pathy ~ I allow myself to genuinely feel and express your emotions.

Am I empathetic, sympathetic, apathetic, or plain pathetic? I certainly can’t fake it. There are times when I actually don’t care and wish to ignore the subtle request to provide a shoulder to cry on. I may not want to laugh at a silly joke. I often deem myself incapable or unqualified to enter the ‘feeling realm’ with another human. I cannot respond to every cry for help, so I erect an emotional wall shielding me from all but the most urgent or, in my opinion, the most legitimate of needs. 

This selection process allows me plausible deniability, so I can later claim, “I didn’t know.” But the real question is:  Should I have known? Or, would I have known if I had wanted to?

Upon reflection, perhaps there is a more self-serving, even sinister motive... “Which needs, after I have met them, will have an eventual outcome that serves or benefits me in some way?”

Real caring is a choice. If I am to shed tears when others cry or truly celebrate their happiness, then I must explore the idea of empathy; that is, learn to develop a well-functioning emotional radar capable of reading signals others are trying to emit. Without a finely-tuned, personal sensitivity meter, I may miss a chance meeting when I am most needed and waste my energy on low priority, safe, sterile, and comfortable caring gestures. 

What a waste! I may never share another’s sorrow when he learns his wife has terminal cancer. I could miss the opportunity to express joy when a friend is promoted to the position he always wanted. I might not connect with a person whose contact would enrich us both. Is it possible that I have not “shown hospitality to angels”  when I had the opportunity (Hebrews 13.2)?

Without empathy, I am a lesser man.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”

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The wonderful images entitled "Empathy" and "Empathy x3" are used here by permission of Swedish photographer Per Jorisch (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jorisch/).