Nothing good comes from a lie. No matter how we spin our version of it, the truth is still the truth. In the end, there’s no refuting or running from it. Sometimes truth hurts. It can be brutal. We may wish it away and cover it with insulating layers of denial but it remains what it is… the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
A woman called me because she was having marital issues. She needed someone to talk to. I agreed to meet with her if she would bring her her husband along.
“Oh, I can’t do that”, she said. “He must not know we talked.”
“Why not?,” I asked.
“He does not know that I know what he’s been up to. If he knew I knew, he would divorce me.”
I explained that my goal was to help her marriage. By speaking to me privately about “his problem,” whatever that may be, we would create an implied collusion in the husband’s mind which would eventually undermine his confidence in me as a part of the healing process. That would only serve to make matters worse for the marriage. It is unhealthy and ultimately impossible to keep secrets in a marriage. Besides, he deserves the right to share his side of the story. And finally, to withhold crucial information about what she knew of his behavior meant the relationship was based partly on a lie which she was helping to perpetuate.
Yes, it would be risky to expose the truth. He might get angry and threaten to quit the marriage. But wouldn’t that better than living with a lie? Sometimes you have to risk what you have to get what you need. She decided not to meet with me. I heard, few years later, that this couple was divorced.
“Why not?,” I asked.
“He does not know that I know what he’s been up to. If he knew I knew, he would divorce me.”
Yes, it would be risky to expose the truth. He might get angry and threaten to quit the marriage. But wouldn’t that better than living with a lie? Sometimes you have to risk what you have to get what you need. She decided not to meet with me. I heard, few years later, that this couple was divorced.
We must not be afraid of the consequences of truth. Ultimately, what we work hard to conceal will “be disclosed” and what we try to hide will “be made known.” What Jesus tells you “in the dark”–ness of your prayer closet, “speak in the daylight.” What He whispers “in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.”
“Do not be afraid.” Trust Christ. Take a risk. Tell the truth.
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The hilarious cartoon in this post is entitled "Denial" by Tom Vencel, artist and freelance flash game maker, who was kind enough to grant me permission to display his cartoon here. Check out Tom's creative work at http://www.ninjadoodle.com/.
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