"My Beloved Lazy Boy"

“…fight with everything you have in you for this faith entrusted to us as a gift to guard and cherish.” Jude 3c “The Message”

“…contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints.” Jude 3c NAS

Wednesday, November 29th, 2006: 

This moment is perfection, at least, as much perfection as can be achieved on earth. I am alone reclining on my Lazy Boy sofa chair. It’s early and dark outside. I’m wide awake after a full night of sleep. My senses are tweaked to the max and I am fully aware of God’s gift of comfort.

Mentally, I am at peace knowing that all is well with my wife and kids soundly sleeping upstairs. The soft glow of Christmas lights and decorations remind me of Christ’s birth. Michael Allen Harrison’s rendition of “O Come All Ye Faithful” chimes low from my computer blending in perfect harmony with Larry, my cat purring aggressively at my head on the top of the sofa and the water sounds from the indoor fountain in my study. The aroma of a steaming cup of Starbuck’s Verona swirls in the air. I am warm, comfortable, fully caffeinated, relaxed, prayed up, and ready to read God’s Word. All is well in my universe.

Against this soul-soothing back-drop, Jude’s command snaps me into another realm of consciousness...

“Fight with everything you have. Contend earnestly for the faith.”

I don’t want to leave my soft, overstuffed recliner. No feeling could surpass this moment of quiet tranquility and intimacy with Jesus. I deeply appreciate the gift of reprieve and the respite God allows me during my daily devotional practice of P, B & J (prayer, Bible, and journaling). But it would be selfish to remain here. A couple hours in the morning is all I get. There’s a war out there. I have battles to fight. I must make a difference in the world. Christ calls me to “contend earnestly for the faith.” I’m not clear, in this moment, what it means for me to “fight with everything you have” today or “contend earnestly for the faith.” Whatever it means, I am quite sure it will require me to leave my beloved Lazy Boy. 

I hear the understanding voice of Jesus gently whispering in my ear..., “Don’t be a...”

______________

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014: 

I wrote this piece approximately eight years ago. Today on November 26, 2014, things are different. It's early in the morning. I'm still drinking good coffee, listening to Michael Allen Harrison's soothing piano music, and getting ready to read my Bible. My kids are still sleeping peacefully upstairs. But things are different now. The cat is dead and the Lazy Boy sofa shows serious signs of wear from my daily ritual. All is no longer "well with my universe." I feel peaceful, but not comfortable. I will soon make my daily drive to Sunnyside Hospital where my wife is fighting to regain her health, suffering from acute myeloid luekemia. Life is short and filled with surprises, not all of them pleasant. We miss our wife and mom and want her back home soon.  

Wednesday, November 30th, 2016: 

It's been two years from my last reading of this entry and things have changed. Robert and Rachel are still sleeping quietly upstairs. They will be up in a couple hours to get ready for another day at Beaverton High School. I'm still drinking good coffee and listening to Michael Allen Harrison. Christmas lights are up and I'm ready to read my Bible. Last night, as we drove from her piano lesson, Rachel confided in me: "I was thinking about Mom and wishing I could go to the mall with her." We miss her so, so, so much. I wrote a book and started a non-profit called 423 Communities. I am still called to get off my Lazy Boy (where I am now sitting) and "contend earnestly for the faith." Today will be a good and productive day. I will trust and serve Jesus and, God willing, make Adonica proud of me.

Wednesday; November 28th, 2018:

My precious wife died just over three years ago, and I have never fully recovered from the loss. Her pictures still line the stairwell and precious memories fill my heart. Robert is at the Air Force Academy and Rachel and I are banging around in this big house all by ourselves. I am still on my Lazy Boy chair reading the Bible and sipping Starbucks. Michael Allen still plays Christmas music in the background. But the lights and Christmas tree are missing. Rachel did not want to decorate this year. Too much work, she claimed, and Christmas apparently doesn't mean anything to her. I feel so broken. I'm an adequate dad, barely, but SUCH a crappy mother. This previously cherished holy-day will never be the same. Everyone has left Rachel. I alone remain for her, and I am clearly not enough. This hurts as much as the death of my wife. Rachel deserved so much more.

Wednesday; November 25th, 2020:

Things are better now, but I am crying as I re-read the entries above. I still have my daily dose of coffee and Michael Allen Harrison Christmas music. I have progressed to Spotify and a better chair facing our gas fireplace. It's a perfect spot for my daily ritual of P, B & J. Adonica has been gone for just over five years now and I have finally realized... I will NEVER get over this woman. She will always be a part of me. The pain of grief is less intense now, but still very real, and made better by several positive elements in my life. Rachel is a freshman at University of Idaho and likes Christmas again. Robert is flourishing at USAFA and recovered nicely from a bout of coronavirus. My grandson Shawn moved in with me and given me a renewed sense of purpose as together we struggle through distance learning at Southridge High. I have a new woman in my life and I love her as I did Adonica. She's definitely out of my league, but we are moving forward together in a relationship which seems God-ordained. I still miss you Adonica. I hope you are proud of the way I raised our children in your absence. I shall always love you.

Wednesday; November 30th, 2022:

Things are almost back to normal; that is, the good life. I retired and my time is my own. I relocated back to my faithful Lazy Boy spot, still drink Starbucks, and immerse myself in Michael Allen Harrison Chrsitmas piano sounds each morning during this season while reading my Bible. Things did not work out with the woman I fell in love with after Adonica, and I'm single again. Now I miss two women, but mostly I miss Adonica. No one will ever replace her; she was truly 'one-of-a-kind.' I celebrated my retirement and 70th birthday party at the studio I joined a year and a half ago, and I'm dancing Salsa, Bachata, or West Coast Swing on most evenings. Rachel is doing well as a junior at University of Idaho and Robert graduated from USAFA. He got the pilot slot AND the girl. Robert and beautiful Anna will be married next month, just a few days before Christmas 2022 and they will be off to Enid AFB in Oklahoma for pilot training early next year. Adonica, I will place a rose on the seat you would have sat in at Robert's wedding. We talk of you often and will never forget or get over you.